Top mistakes parents make when a child throws tantrums

Parents can find tantrums frustrating. It can include screaming and sobbing, as well as yelling, hitting, kicking, and holding your breath. While some children throw tantrums frequently, others do so occasionally. Tantrums are a typical phase in a child’s growth. This is how young children express their anger or frustration. Many parents make the mistake of using discipline to stop tantrums. That only makes things worse. However, rewarding your kids for tantrums will only encourage them to use this strategy in the future. So that’s also wrong. Parents should take the necessary steps to educate their children and encourage good behavior. (Also read: Biggest Parenting Mistakes Destroying Children’s Mental Health )

“The next time your child throws a tantrum, embrace this mantra: Freeze, breathe, meet the need. Which at this moment is a pre-correction connection. Conscious parents still need to discipline and correct their children, but a tantrum isn’t the time. At least not if you want your child to remember the lesson. For centuries we’ve been taught that if we don’t stop the child’s bad behavior immediately, our children will become weak, gentle, entitled brats who expect everyone to cater to their fragile emotions. We’ve been taught that some emotions are “bad” and to fear them. Often the lessons we’re trying to teach go in one ear and out the other, and their emotional development is stifled at the same time. If we really want to that the correction “sticks,” we need to learn how to connect first,” says Rachael, Parenting Coach, in her recent Instagram post. She also shared what parents should avoid when their child throws tantrums.

  • Invalidating, laughing at, dismissing, or avoiding your emotions:
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This hampers a child’s emotional development. Instead, we should welcome, validate, and calm all emotions to teach a child that emotions are safe and will eventually pass.

  • Try to overcome or stop emotions quickly:
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This also inhibits a child’s emotional development. Instead, we work to widen our window of tolerance and allow room for the ebb and flow of the child’s emotional surge.

  • Try arguing with the child or teaching them while they are still emotional:
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When a child throws tantrums, their unregulated brain is not ready for logical and reasonable lessons. If we try to discipline them at that moment, they will not learn the lesson and will repeat negative behavior over and over again. Instead, we should wait patiently.

  • Connect only emotionally without finally teaching:

Correction and discipline are necessary. Once the emotional surge is over and your child is playful and bonding again, you can talk about how you can deal with the circumstances and big emotions in a healthier way in the future.

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