Laitinen said her book The Highest Frequencies of Love, based on her experience working with families as a Positive Mindset Coach, was written to help parents “become their best self in their relationship with a family member “. Autism Spectrum.
She encourages families to ask themselves, “How can these children let their gifts shine?”
The answer, Laitinen said, is to lead by example. Her book helps parents “be the best version of themselves so their children have permission to be the best version of themselves.”
The problem with conventional approaches to raising children on the autism spectrum, she said, is that they generally focus on the child rather than the parents. “Since parents are the most influential person in their child’s life, we need to focus more on them and how they are interacting with their autistic child.”
To become that “best version of yourself,” Laitinen says, “you must master your mind and your emotions with forgiveness and self-love.”
For example, she said, a child on the spectrum can become anxious about meeting someone or doing something that is outside of their comfort zone. Using behavior modification techniques, Laitinen teaches parents how to reduce stress by visualizing that everything is going smoothly. She encourages them to mentally visualize “like a movie on the screen of their mind” how they want the change to be the next day.
“The thoughts and energy you go to bed with are the thoughts and energy you wake up with,” Laitinen said. “If you go to bed worried and stressed out and concocting negative scenarios in your head, you’re going to wake up in that exhausted, exhausted, worried state. “If you go to bed with positive thoughts and expect things to go your way,” she said, the parent and child will wake up mentally and emotionally better equipped for a successful day.
Laitinen said she wrote her book to take his message “out into the world.”
“How can we love others more during a challenging time with people who are difficult to love?” she asked. “It starts with ourselves.”
Laitinen grew up in Dedham and lives in Kingston with her husband and a blended family of eight children. After training as a paralegal, her life took a different direction. “I’ve been on that journey,” she said, “all the stepping stones to this place where I am now.” Steps include being a YMCA fitness instructor working with “special populations like cancer survivors.”
Laitinen also works with clients to change their behavior in a more positive direction on a one-to-one basis through her own company, Evoke Change Center, for which she is pursuing nonprofit status.
The author said the title “The Highest Frequencies of Love” refers to the quest to “raise our vibration, our energy” to its most positive state.
“When someone is having a rough day, you can feel it in their gait,” said Laitinen. “We’re on autopilot, not tuned into our own energy as much as possible. The idea helps people see that every thought becomes a feeling and is reacted to as fear and stress. We react as a direct result. Every word from people we speak to elevates or demeans us.”
Recycling the negative energy “holds us tight,” she said. Having compassion for yourself “changes the way we think and act to a higher level. So you have this freedom to choose, to think. … It literally takes us to a higher frequency place.”
Laitinen, who recently spoke about her work at the Umphanda Foundation for Autism in South Africa, will be a lot closer to home when she performs at the fourth annual South Shore Conference for Women at the Quincy Marriott on October 27. Visit sheslocal.org/south-shore for tickets and more information.
Robert Knox can be reached at [email protected].